Killer Of The Dead
by Alexandrea Darkin
Summary: Sometimes things are not exactly as they seem, especially on the Hellmouth. Buffy makes a choice that saves Spike's life and he discovers a few truths about himself as he endures the worst nightmare of his unlife. As usual I don't own anything but my own imagination. Reviews are always welcome. Enjoy!


Different Worlds

Buffy / Spike Fan Fic Prompt

"Spike's Nightmare"

It was too early in the day for him to even be up, there was nothing but silence in the crypt and there was a naked woman curled up in his sheets. Normally it would have been a perfect experience for Spike but today he was anxious and pacing around the small kitchen in his crypt. His mind had been too occupied with images of the last woman he had loved and lost. He felt a twinge in his chest when he thought about the fate that had befallen her. "Spike," He could almost hear her voice sighing in frustration now as he allowed himself to remember things he once hoped to forget. "I have to do this."

"But you don't have to do it alone." He had argued as he paced around her.

"There is no other way." Buffy snapped as he slammed his fist into the wall uttering a string of curses. "If I don't go they will kill Dawn. I couldn't live with that, Spike."

"So that's that then?" He snapped as he watched her collect a few stakes and a vial of holy water from her bag. "You show up at my door in the middle of a bloody rain storm to tell me I may never see you again. Is that right? Well I got news for you Slayer…I can't accept that. If you're goin' after Maxwell tonight then I'm commin' along for the ride."

"I have to do this alone, Spike." She had argued as she crossed the room and placed her hands on his chest. He could see the reality they faced reflected in her brown eyes as she stared up at him. "If you go charging in there like a firecracker you could get yourself dusted or Maxwell may kill Dawn. I can't face either of those things happening." Spike bit his tongue to keep from begging her to stay. He could tie her up in the crypt and hold her there until after he dealt with Maxwell, providing that he even survived the battle itself, and then they wouldn't have to worry about the consequences anymore. The rational side of Spike's brain was yelling at him that he couldn't just tie her up and expect her to stay tied up, or expect himself to keep his mind on the battle and not Buffy's helpless state. "I love you, Spike. If I don't make it out of this battle someone has to watch out for Dawn."

"Stop talking like that!" Spike growled as he grabbed her shoulders and forced himself to meet her eyes. "You bloody well sound like you've given up already." Whatever he was going to say next was lost in her kiss. He held her tightly against him willing himself to accept her decisions but knowing they were foolish.

"I have to go, Spike." She whispered against his lips as she pulled away. "I have to do this. You and I both know that with the Amulet of Ra, Maxwell holds quite the power over vampires and I will not lose you. Wait for me here. I won't be long….I promise." With that he watched her walk away. Stakes tucked out of sight and a leather jacket her only protection from the weather.

The glass in his hand was no match for the sudden flash of rage and guilt that rushed through him, pieces shattering around the floor as he cursed. Buffy never returned to the crypt that night, but Dawn had. Spike had held the sobbing girl trying to make himself accept her words. Buffy had rescued Dawn but they were surrounded by his minions. Outnumbered as she was Buffy had sent Dawn away in the middle of the battle telling her to find Spike. He raced through the night hoping to find she had gotten the better of her situation. He was wrong. Buffy's broken and beaten body had lain in a pool of her own blood by the front doors of the building. Spike had fallen to his knees beside her body the guilt and the sadness shaking him to his very core. He laid a hand on her face, traced her eyes with his thumb and his name fell from her lips. She was barely alive but to him in that moment it was better than finding her dead.

"Spike?" Her voice jerked him out of the painful memory and he blinked a few times to clear his vision before turning to face her. "You alright?"

He opened his mouth to fire off some smartass remark that she had become accustomed to but the silence between them just hung there. "No." He finally sighed as he picked the shards of glass from his hand and rinsed off the blood in the sink. "Can't remember the last time I was alright you know."

"Is it Buffy again?" She sighed noticing the way he refused to look at her now. He didn't answer just downed a shot of Jack Daniels and poured another. "Come on, Spike. We both know what's going on here. Every time you're with me it reminds you of your guilt and your love for her. I understand that. What you have to square with is your own heart."

"Always been love's bitch, pet." Spike growled as he looked her over. Ash had tossed on his t-shirt when she left his bed and nothing more. Normally he would be all over that invitation but not tonight. His pleasured were simply not the same as they once were. Maybe it was because he still loved Buffy too much to let her go or maybe it was because he just wasn't ready to move on yet.

"What's got you reminiscing, Spike?" Ash asked as she crossed her arms over her chest.

"Dawn showed up at my door just after sunset last night half crazed and bloody rambling about Buffy." Spike sighed as he turned away from her and grabbed his cigarettes and lighter. "Thought I was holding Dru for a while there. Truthfully I couldn't understand a damned thing the bit was saying to me until she asked me to…"

"To what?" Ash asked curiously as Spike leaped onto the sarcophagus and lit up a smoke. He looked indecisive for a moment as if he didn't want to finish what he had started saying. "Spike…tell me."

"She asked me to bloody turn Buffy into a vampire." Spike blurted out knowing there was no way he would ever consider doing such a thing. "Said it was the only way to save her. Told me I was the only one she trusted to do it but if I wouldn't she'd find someone else to do it."

"She did what!" Ash screeched as she stared at him her mouth open and her eyes wide. "That's insane! Buffy is…." They stared at each other for a long time both knowing what she stopped short of saying but neither one wanting to confirm it out loud.

"She's as bloody close to death as she can get without going over." Spike sighed after a long drag on his smoke. His eyes were unfocussed as he spoke and Ash knew he was disconnecting himself from the conversation. "We both know it and the bit knows it but she's full of guilt. She wants her sister back and who can bloody blame her."

"What did you say to her?" Ash asked as she moved around the room trying to absorb the new information Spike had just tossed at her.

"Well," Spike sighed as he took another draw on his smoke. "Told her I'd be there tonight."

"Spike!" Ash bellowed as she turned on him, her hands clenching into fists at her side. He was certain she would have dusted him in that moment if she would have had a way.

"Relax!" Spike spat in her direction as they stared at each other. "Don't get your knickers in a twist. I told her to sod off. There was no bloody way I'd do it. The only thing keeping Buffy here is those damned machines and drugs they keep pumping her full of at that hospital."

"What if you're wrong?" Ash wouldn't look at him now as he fixed cold eyes on her.

"What are you getting at?" Spike's tone was dangerous and deadly but it often got that way when he was shutting off his emotions and trying not to feel anything. "It's all bollocks, Ash."

"What if we've been looking at this all wrong?" Ash was pacing now her hands on her hips and for a moment she reminded him more of a slayer than she ever had. "What if Maxwell knew Buffy wouldn't bring you with her and that she would go after Dawn first to get her out before coming after him? Anyone that ever knew Buffy knew that she wouldn't let harm come to Dawn and anyone that knew her knew she had come to care deeply for you, Spike. She wouldn't bring you with her if she thought you would have been in danger. Maxwell wanted Buffy…as a vampire."

"Bloody Hell!" Spike nearly fell off the sarcophagus. "The Gint wants to control the Slayer."

"Dawn will find someone to do it if you don't, Spike." Ash continued as he buried his head in his hands. "If she finds one of Maxwell's minions to bring Buffy to the dark side then we lose all control over this and we're going to lose. Maxwell wasn't counting on Buffy dying at the hospital and the Counsel naming me as a temporary slayer while she battled for her life." Ash was shaking by the time she processed her thoughts. "He wants to use her against the Counsel, the other slayers and…..he's going to use her to destroy you."

"That'll about do it, right?" Spike could hear the defeat in his own voice as he tried to make sense of everything screaming through his mind at once. "You can't be telling me to turn her. I won't do it."

"Could you destroy her, Spike?" He flinched as she met his eyes, the look of rage and pain there making her heart skip a beat. Spike had tortured himself every bit as much as Dawn had over the last couple months that Buffy had been in the hospital. No one held out much hope that she would wake up from the coma but there was still that spark that kept them going. It was when he missed her the most that he turned to Ash and her company. Maybe she reminded him of Buffy, she would like to think that was what it was. Giles disagreed. He had told Ash that Spike was hoping she would dust him so he didn't have to exist with his guilt anymore. She wasn't sure what to believe. "I doubt either of us could take her as a Slayer and I'm sure neither of us could touch her as a vampire, not even at our best. Something we wouldn't even hope to be at. Face it, Spike. You still love her. She would dust you without a single thought and you would let her to stop your own guilt and pain. She would be more powerful than anything the counsel has encountered in thousands of years. A Slayer Vampire, Spike. Think about it."

It was getting late and Spike had been alone with his thoughts for hours but he had reached no conclusions. Maxwell wanted to control the Slayer and Ash wanted Spike to control the Slayer. Neither option having what was best for Buffy in mind. That was his job now wasn't it. To make sure there was at least one person left in this world that was thinking about Buffy and what she would have wanted. She was the Slayer and there was no questioning her ability to push every one of his buttons but he would not sell her out to the Hellmouth or the Counsel. The only way to save her was to set her soul free, but Spike wasn't sure he could do it. Ash was right. He still loved Buffy and he always would. Maybe once it was over he would be able to allow himself the release he had been longing for. Ash wouldn't find pleasure in dusting him. That much he knew was true but she would do it. She didn't hold the feelings for him that Buffy had come to have over their relationship. He shook off his thoughts and dried his eyes as he pulled on his duster.

The door of the crypt flew open and he froze. In the moonlight he could see her standing in the doorway and his mouth opened but no sound came out as he watched her enter the crypt. "Hello, Spike." A shudder ran through him at the sound of her voice.

"Hello, Kitten." The words slipped past his lips and she smiled as she closed her eyes.

"You don't seem happy to see me, Spike." There was hurt in her voice even as she stalked toward him. He moved out of her reach and she frowned at him.

"Don't take it the wrong way, Dru, but I thought you were dust." He watched her smile as she tilted her head to stare at him.

"My Dark Warrior doesn't want me here." She pouted as she swayed in front of him. He once would have found her display fascinating and a bit erotic but his mind was a mass of jumbled emotions and thoughts that had no room for anything else. What was she doing here and how did she find him after all this time? "Doesn't love me anymore does he children. Looking at me like I'm a monster sent to rip out his very heart. It's that soul it is that makes my Spike so tortured. Even after I bring him a present he doesn't want us here."

"Present?" He asked as he watched her. What was wrong with him? He couldn't take his eyes off her as she came toward him. Finally, he dodged her hand as she reached for him making her stumble in her bare feet and frown at him again. "How thoughtful, Dru but I thought I made it clear we were done when I told you to sod off on your last little visit through here."

"Doesn't my Spike at least want to know what his Princess brought him?" Dru was smiling now which told Spike he was in for a long night. She only got that smile when she planned on punishing him in pleasure and pain. A shudder ran through him at the memories of pain and pleasure running together throughout their charted history together. She had never been as beautiful as the night he had tied her up in chains and had his way with her near a church in London. Spike shook himself from the thoughts as he squared his eyes at her. What was her game?

"Of course I do, Kitten." Spike purred at her seeing the way her eyes lit up at his interest. She had always been hard to please but sometimes she delighted in the simple things. Drusilla clapped her hands together as she laughed and pointed behind him to the door she had left open.

He froze, his eyes washing over the sight before him and the unneeded air rushing out of his lungs as she saw what Drusilla had brought him. His mouth was dry and no words would form and he took a stumbling step toward the door. "Hi, Spike."

"B…Buffy…" His voice a mere whisper as he saw the way the moonlight bounced off her skin, tangled in her blond hair and the light in her eyes shone brighter than he ever remembered it. Drusilla had done what he couldn't bring himself to do. She had turned Buffy into what she once hated. "You're…"

"A vampire." Buffy smiled her face contorting to the face of the demon which now inhabited her body. Drusilla laughed a pixie's laugh as she danced around the crypt talking to no one but the voices raging in her head as Spike tried to make reason with what was happening.

"I don't think my Dark Warrior likes his present." Drusilla pouted as she danced to Spike's side taking in the emotions playing out on his face. "Can't you ever be happy, my Spike? Bring him a Slayer in a bag and he would complain she wasn't in a cage. Bring him a vampire and he will complain she isn't human. Would you have preferred I let her die as you were going to do, baby? You wouldn't feed, wondered the night searching for nothing and spent your days baiting that half-wit slayer into staking you while you made love. Can you not accept my gift with a smile, Spike? Oooooh, lets tie her up and make her bleed! You always enjoyed that, my warrior of the darkness. She will heal now and we can do it again and again."

"Dru!" Spike roared as he took a step back from the other vampires trying to clear his mind of the images Drusilla's ramblings had conjured up. This wasn't his Buffy anymore. "You had no right to turn her."

Before he could react Buffy lunged for him, knocking him off his feet and sending him into the wall. "Bollocks, woman!" He cursed as he climbed to his feet dusting off the shards of concrete that fell onto his duster.

Buffy growled as Drusilla lunged for her. Spinning out of her reach Buffy grabbed Drusilla jerking her back and pressed a stake against her chest. Drusilla laughed as if she were having the time her life her eyes dancing in excitement at the game she was a part of now. Spike watched the dance going on in front of him with wonder. Buffy hadn't lost a thing in her transition but there was something different about her something deadly that wasn't there before. With a twist of her wrist Buffy sent the stake plunging into her heart and Drusilla screamed before a fine mist of dust fell to the ground at her feet. Spike gasped as her face turned to him and he shivered at the yellow glare from her eyes. This wasn't how he wanted to remember her. "Moved on already have you, Spike?" Her voice was a growl that he never wanted to hear from her lips. "You and everyone else. A new Slayer a new lover is that how it is?"

"You're out of your soddin' skull, luv." Spike smirked as he watched her move. She wanted to dance some more. Just like old times he reminded himself and hoped he was right. He had always promised her that he would be her last dance but he had never imagined it would happen like this. He wasn't looking forward to this dance ending. "I was using her just like you always used me. There was no love just a lot of rollin' round in the sheets." He moved as she lunged at him. Her speed surprised him as she cut a gash in his shirt. "Hit a nerve did I, Pet."

"I'll make you pay for that, Spike." She growled as they circled one another. Neither ready to end their dance yet. She lunged, he dodged and concrete crumbed as they tossed one another about the crypt. Bleeding and bruised they matched each other blow for blow, curse for curse until finally he caught her ankle pulling her to the floor and pinning her there with his body a stake in his right hand. Her eyes went wide when she realized their position. It wasn't that far from how they had spent much of that last night together. Making love and talking about a future that neither of them was sure of. He wondered what would have happened between them if she hadn't went alone to fight Maxwell. "I love you, Spike." Her voice paused his hand as it brought down the stake. Ash was right, he couldn't do.

A moment of hesitation was all it took. She pushed him off her and grabbed the stake pressing it into the flesh of his chest. A gasp escaped his lips as the flesh burned under the pressure. "I know you did, Pet." He replied as he met her eyes. "Looks like love has a new Bitch." He watched her raise the stake, closing his eyes as she brought it down.

Pain exploded through his body as he squeezed his eyes together. A scream tore itself from his throat and he could hear someone screaming his name as shaky hands gripped his face. Was this what it felt like to be in hell? "Giles stop!" He heard the words, heard her voice and tasted blood on his lips as another scream tore its way out of his lungs. "Spike look at me. Come on, Spike." He forced his eyes open and blinked away the haze to stare through the darkness at her. Her face was covered in a mask of blood, dirt, dust and tears as she smiled at him.

"What the bloody hell?" He managed to say as he stared around the inside of the car at the three faces staring back at him. He ignored the pain as his eyes fell on her again. "Right…so this is my own personal Hell. Trapped in a car with a Git, a Witch and a Slayer."

"You're not in hell, Spike." He heard her say as she met his eyes.

"Could have bloody well fooled me, luv." He groaned as the pain surged through him again. He saw more tears fall from her eyes and she moved her hand from his face to brush them away. Carefully he caught her hand his eyes lingering on the bleeding wound on her wrist. Something inside of him knew in that instant what had happened. He ignored her blush as he met her eyes, his tongue capturing the last of the blood on his lips.

"Killer of the dead." Buffy whispered as she shifted in the seat beside him her eyes focusing on the deep wound in his chest rather than his eyes. A cold chill ran through him as he realized the severity of her words. Killer of the dead was the only thing other than the Slayer herself that terrified vampires to their bloody core. A death sentence handed out by only a few demons, none of which he had thought to be around here. The poison powder worked fast paralyzing a vampire within minutes and turning their insides to dust until finally there was nothing left. The only cure is the blood of a Slayer.

"Oh, Spike." She cried as she threw her arms around his neck jumping back at his groan of pain. "Sorry….sorry…It's just…What were you thinking? I thought I was going to lose you. When Giles told me what that thing was…."

"'S alright, Pet." Spike managed to say through clenched teeth as he tried to adjust his position in the back seat his legs still not responding. "Couldn't let it get its claws in you. Killer of the dead tortures you before it actually dusts you, right. Those gits make a right nasty mess of us in the head before we go poof. Worst thing 'bout those soddin' buggers is the nightmares they give you before they finally let you die. Twisted and real frightening really no matter who you are."

"Pity it doesn't paralyze your vocal cords." Giles scoffed with a roll of his eyes as he stared over his shoulder into the back seat.

"Giles!" Willow snapped as she slugged him in the arm.

"You're going to be alright aren't you?" Buffy asked as she watched the pain etch across his face again as Giles pulled back onto the road.

"You offerin' to be my nurse maid, Pet?" Spike asked as Giles swerved jarring the car into a pot hole in the center of the road. Spike screamed and Buffy fixed Giles with a warning glare in the rearview mirror. It was going to be a long night but at least he could breathe easier knowing his Slayer was still human and he wasn't dust. The pain he could deal with as long as those two things were certain in his mind. Curse that bloody demon for making him even more aware of how different his world was from hers. He would protect her as much as he could but there was always the possibility of that one night he slipped up and she was lost to him forever.

"Spike," She whispered hours later once his wounds were cleaned and he was settled into her bed. "Thanks for saving me." She sighed as she laid her head on his shoulder, her fingers toying with the bandage on his chest.

"Anytime, Pet." Spike breathed as he buried his nose in her hair smelling the soft scent of her shampoo. "Just promise me you won't go runnin' off after some big bad alone anymore, right?"

"Ok." She sighed as she snuggled in closer to him taking care not to brush against his wounds. "Promise me the next time you show up to save me you won't get yourself dusted in the process. I don't like worrying about you, Spike."

"Deal, luv." Spike mumbled into her hair as she smiled against his skin. "I think Red suspects something's going on between us." Spike smiled remembering the way Willow had been looking at them over her shoulder.

"Let her wonder." Buffy laughed as she closed her eyes breathing in the scent of leather and smoke that was all Spike. For a while tonight she thought she would never smell it again or hear him call her all his pet names anymore. The sight of him broken and bleeding on the ground had hurt her more than she was willing to admit to herself at the time but now snuggled around his body with his arm around her she realized how close she came to losing him forever. Maybe Willow was right to wonder about her relationship with Spike. She wasn't quite ready to jump into anything serious with the peroxide blond but she wasn't ready for him not to be around anymore either.

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